the topic of CONFIDENCE

We obviously all have a hard time accepting our looks when we grow up. Middle school was quite possibly the worst three years I'm ever going to have in my entire life. I'm pretty sure I got made fun of every day for something that I was wearing or doing or for who I was in general. I hated what I looked like and I was so focused on wanting to change that. 

I'm short, like really short. People call me a midget and I have to remind them that I am not a legal midget so don't call me a midget. I'm also white, like really white. I've been pale my whole life and it's not because I hate the sun, I just really don't tan. Trying to be tan now would be hard considering my entire makeup collection is made up of the lightest shade of every product I own. My nose has a weird bump in the middle (which I'm convinced is from when I wore socks in the McDonalds play place when I was four and fell on my face), I have hooded eyelids (which I didn't know the name for until Youtube vloggers helped me self-diagnose) and my cheekbones and jawline are kind of nonexistent (there's no story here, now I'm just pointing out my flaws). 

In middle school I used to point out my flaws so that I could justify calling myself ugly or feel sorry for myself when no one else would give me sympathy. In high school I started to tell people that I was okay with being ugly as long as I accepted it. But now I feel kind of pretty even though I may be kind of ugly. I know what my flaws are after years of picking at them day and night, but now I'm okay with them. I know I'm never going to be a tall, tan Victoria's Secret model and I'm totally okay with that. There's no use in complaining about what I look like anymore because now I think I'm stuck with these looks until I get old and they start to disappear. But again, that's okay. 

I think that's where my confidence came from. Knowing my flaws but also knowing that once you accept them it's so much easier to love who you are. Once you move past what you look like you can focus on the more important things, like being intelligent and a good friend. Loving yourself is how you improve everything else in your life.

I mean yeah, there are days where my hair is greasy and my skin is oily and I've eaten one too many cookies and I'm just not feeling myself, but everyone has those days. Getting on Instagram and seeing models or your best friends from school thriving in some tropical location or wearing a really cute outfit is kind of discouraging, but it's important to keep in mind that pictures like that is their highlight reel. We all have days when we feel ugly or want to go in public and feel like no one is looking at us and thinking about our flaws. 

Do things that make you happy. Go where you want. Wear what you want. Do your hair and your makeup in whichever way you think makes you look the best. The rest will follow. I promise.